Working at Resting 18 Nov 11

Today is the Friday before Thanksgiving. This year it will be at my house. I am bound and determined to do this, and I know I will enjoy it. My energy level is so-so; better than it was, but not where I wish it was. So I adapt. Today I sit down and make a big list of everything that has to be done so that I can break it down into manageable chunks to accomplish each day.

I need to figure out cooking schedules (how much can I do ahead?), cleaning schedules (how long will stuff stay clean?), shopping schedules (how far ahead am I going to buy the Turkey?), and resting schedules (Don’t stress out, and get some rest!). It is quite an affair to accomplish. I am on the far side of cancer now, but do not be fooled, it is an ongoing process. Things still linger. I’m still in deep menopause, still have to stretch out my sore, weak shoulder daily, and still get tired easily.
So I have gotten better at organizing my time. I need to. I need to schedule time to push through the tired, and then schedule time I need to put everything down and REST. As someone who prefers to go, go, go; resting is hard. It takes work to rest. Sounds funny doesn’t it? Working at resting. But, I bet a lot of you understand this concept as well. Especially if you have been through cancer.
I read a book by a fellow author, Heather St Aubin Stout, called Not My Mother’s Journey. It was a good book, got through it in a day. I am amazed at how different and how similar each one of us veterans is to each other. A lot of her emotions in her book brought back a lot of emotions I too have been through. She is reading my book now as well. I will be interested if she found the same to be true. I shed a lot of tears remembering what I had been though, and understanding what she was going through. I smiled at the triumphs she had as well, and laughed at the odd and funny things that happen along the way.
Right now, life is so good. Nothing major is happening (today), and I can concentrate on getting Thanksgiving planned and executed. No pun intended in regards to the turkey.
We did get orders to move. I am thrilled as we will be closer to my brothers than I have been since they all left home, and my parents and I moved away. I look forward to getting to know them again. I still feel like the baby sister who hasn’t grown up in many ways. I look at all I have done in my life (it has definitely been an exciting life, if not always fun), and feel like I have grown up, but I feel as if they do not see it. They still see the little sister I was. Then again, it has to be like me looking at my almost 18 year old son and when I look into his deep brown eyes, I still see his little face the first time I held him in my arms.
It’s a picture we hold in our minds that gets frozen in time.
Well, I got a wonderful call and had a great chat with one of my sister’s-in-law, but there goes my morning! I need to move. Have a great day, all!

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