17 Jan 12 The Grinch
Grump, grump, grump. I have been really grumpy lately. Everything is setting me off. I’m frustrated about the condition of my house (we are in the process of remodeling, so everything is misplaced, and messy). I’m angry that my feet still hurt, and we still don’t know why. I’m ticked that I missed the first morning of a new bible study awaiting the workers who, usually very punctual, are late today. I’m mad that in the process of cleaning out things, I keep coming across items that are bringing back horrible memories. I’m embarrassed at all the stupid things I’ve done and said in my life. I hate my expanding profile as I gain weight associated with menopause….I feel like my head is going to explode.
Did I mention I am feeling grumpy?
The reality of all this (thankfully?) is that all of this probably stems from the hormonal shift thanks to my hysterectomy back in September. I knew this would be a long road, but I didn’t expect it to come in stages. Since I had not had this stage since the beginning (the weepiness, yes, the grumpiness, no), I figured I was home free.
That being said, I can handle knowing this is a stage. Perhaps a long stage, but a stage nonetheless. It’s hope. Hope that this stage will be short-lived, but that even if it is not, I will see the other side. I am also very aware that I do have a pretty good amount of non-self-imposed stress in my life. Moving is a bear. It’s a bigger bear when you feel like you have to remodel the whole house. It’s a bear when you know the move doesn’t happen for another five plus months, so this will be drug out until then. Thus, back into the cycle of frustration and stress.
Rationality is a commodity of which I have not bought much stock over the years, I will admit. I need to invest more, especially now. Getting rid of emotions, and hanging onto the necessities of the day are important in keeping a clear head. Especially when the head is not clear to being with.
So I do what I know to be best in these situations: Breathe. Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat.
Repeat again as often as necessary, and know that this is for a time, not for forever.
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